No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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