do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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