took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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