I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
