Jerry, you need to find god
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
