Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
