I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize