two words...techno handjob
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
