So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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