and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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