So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
