if only i could text you this smell
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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