he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We are all done wearing pants today
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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