Moan for me like Helen Keller
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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