I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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