Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
