It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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