Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize
