I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I could fuck to npr.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
