remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
