Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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