So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
