yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
