i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
