I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
so let's talk penis.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
