I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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