38 yer olds are good kisserssss
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
