I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
