Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
