i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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