Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
