the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
