listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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