I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
