I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
