I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
