You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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