And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
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