just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I take back everything I said about communal showers
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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