Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
