Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
