now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
