using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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