I want to have your abortion
I think im going to throw up on grandma
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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