the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
