Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
