Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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