yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
how does that bad decision feel?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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