Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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