erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
