Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Someone shattered a urinal.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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