I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
