so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Dick very happy bro
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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