Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
